When people don't show..

..you learn to underestimate them.

Update

I starred off 2 songs on my website.  I -really- lost my voice.  I never said I -was- a good singer..  Everyone else says that when I sing.

The funny thing is..

..I -have- always liked singing.  I wanted experience badly. I had to do also gymnastics as a kid for exercise and later on piano to learn music.

Problem

My mom always comes in and stares at me with a sarcastic grin and like cuts in after ideas like she thinks I gave in.  I am not shit!  I am just as cute as someone with a dad 10 years younger.. my mom might be young.

Problem

Ellen wants to ultimately hurt me.

So, what is it now?

Age?  Popularity?

I found..

..my voice sounds too strained.  That means I have no voice.

I only got..

..1 chance to guess how to be good and that chance has fleeted away, though technically I was not bad..

Apparently

You need to be famous for Ellen to think you are worth something..

Should I care @ my parents?

Our relationship.

My dad thinks I'm stupid if I think I don't need to be punished just for walking in the kitchen.

It's bad enough..

..Karen Carpenter died.  How am I supposed to be happy, now?

Problem

What now, did you think @ my little brother, like having a fetish, literally??  Stop telling me everything I say is wrong.  Just forget it!  I'm just talking @ something.  You did something.

If..

..Ellen felt like a kid like me is also another thing.

Problem

Stop acting all iffy as if that's not how it is.  So what if I'm still a kid?  I'm living my lost life from high school and elementary school.  :|  Why don't you just stop being mean to me!

Why..

..doesn't Ellen just get that she's older than these people on her show, these kids or young Hollywood stars?  I mean, she makes fun of people with 1950 dads born in the 1980s.  I didn't say she was my mom but that she was the right age at the time to be 1.  As for with me, I mean I wouldn't ever make fun of a kid for that.  For me it was like 12 and I was old enough to be a mom, though I still was a kid.  So, I dunno, but it just makes sense as a long time ago people were moms at that age.  So, this is just new, and I mean I just find it a joke to say otherwise cuz it'd just make me mad.  I think it would most.  What if Ellen was born in the 1980s?

Funny Things

Why does Ellen try to make me feel guilty @ what other people do?  Stop acting like I'm just a 1950 person.  Ya'll'll pay for this, obviously.  She's old enough to be my mom but instead thinks she's the cool teenager, showing off like I'm stupid and should die.

...

Well, that's mean, and I catch things like that that others do.  She seemed nice, but she just called me a nigger.  I could tell by the way my camera turned off.  How do they code that in?  You think I'm worthless because I don't know how to do something like that?  It's too bad because it's important to know about things like that and they got me upset over its usage and will just use it against me.

...

I dunno, I said what I said and I don't deserve to be punished.  I was upset and some bad words back hit, though they just popped up in my head as I lay down.  I felt so bad when my dad came in and I feel m..

I don't want Ellen to get out that I'm shit because I'm not my dad.  If she were her dad that'd mean something, wouldn't it?  You can't judge who I am by my parents.  I am not fat and I am not gay.  Nothing wrong with being fat, but you think I can't be skinnier because of my dad.  What's with all these twig girls?  You just think my fat is my dad, stop touching me!

Problems

My dad and I were going somewhere, and I got ready.  I just lay on my couch to take a quick nap.  It discouraged me from my excitement @ Karen Carpenter when he came and was like .. hello are we going .. not typical of him to do most times.

I know I got a message from Ellen when my camera turned off.. just to say I'm a nigger.  I just said something @ her that wasn't bad, like that I don't drink.

Now, my head feels empty but groggy.  My mom stopped in, too, after..  I dunnow what's wrong with my dad, he's just a fatboy.  That is to say, everyone is pushing me to him when we've had a reserved relation.  They want it to be like he's Ellen and I'm the fatty.  I dunno, don't think he needs to change and diet too much so that he's just skinny skinny.  I'm just saying, I am a propa woman, and they're like throwing pie in my face over my dad all the time.  He's not really "Fatty."  I feel like I'm up late or something.  I feel like I ate fat today, which I did.  I feel like a picture of my boy sibling.. I don't want it.  It's him like my dad!  No, I don't need my dad to justify my looks.  That's just an insult.  You didn't say something nice.  You just said he was fat now.  Go away.  You wanna "do it" with your own dad like that?  He's not to be in my life!  I had a fine life!  Well, don't be a dummy and think I won't talk to him or something, but he doesn't "have to be the 1."  What if we did this to you?  Ijust don't like it in that way.  I'm not gonna describe what way, but a way you did.

Less Stress

I don't know why that bothered me, but I thought of something.

I thought..

..Ellen admitted that the message meant something..

She is an evil monster.

She acted like she had to be mean to me.  I thought I heard my mom and it broke my singing and it turns out it was the experimenter taking her place, literally.. but Ellen doesn't know.

Sorry to Say

Ellen DeGeneres is an invalid, postpones my feeling good and lags behind.  Ha ha ha.  She'll like this joke.

Edit

Come and Trip It

New Videos of Me Singing

Bottom to Top

O Waly Waly - December 21, 2013
Scarborough Fair - December 21, 2013
Both Sides Now - December 21, 2013
Leaving on a Jet Plane - December 21, 2013
Come and Trip It - December 21, 2013
Gesu Bambino - December 21, 2013
To a Wild Rose - December 21, 2013
Let the Bright Seraphim - December 21, 2013

Question

Is it ever too old to start singing?  I've always sang and have experience and juice used up and lost.  I took a break to get healthy and work on my acting by posting online and making myself more sane but didn't get out enough.

Annoyed

All people wanna know @ is if people get mad at me to chase me away.. eventually just they would remain....

Did it..

Did the divorce inevitably do it?  Or the fact her mom would say something.. I have family like that.. Just ignore it...

The Question Everyone Asks

What was it.. :( What made Karen Carpenter hopeless and anorexic to the point of unavoidable death, some thought crept over her, but what caused it??

Must Have

Her mom must have instilled that.

Does

Karen Carpenter believe kids are bad?

What would..

..the "real" Karen Carpenter say?

Safe to Say

Since my dad is in Karen Carpenter's class and is not too too much younger but my mom's even younger mean I'm safe to say she's a big parental figure??

I never!

I never told Tim Burton he couldn't have a special relationship with his daughter like it was tabboo, but he's mean to me and not you, too.

Is there something you're not telling me?

Note

Dear Richard Carpenter,

Let's get together and do some music.

Trash Kids

Why has it been said kids today are just trash and deserve no affection from anyone in the world, really, we're just trash, our own mistake, and our parents did nothing wrong and neither did anyone else in the world??

I have decided.

Karen Carpenter's death was a selfish act.

New Videos of Me Singing

1 Close to You - December 21, 2013
2 The Power of Love - December 21, 2013

I just found out..

..my generation is @ like Italians, indians.. Karen Carpenter would like younger kids.

I don't think m.. helps.  I don't feel accepted as I go around, like around my dad, feel shy, not dressed, neither cuz I wanna nap and don't have money for nap clothes and wear glasses and have shaved hair.

Well

I guess Karen didn't want to be there for us.  Think @ being too submissive in life, the younger generation.  What if she was mad @ her body?  It seems as though it wasn't hers.  I am actually trying to come in tune with the situation, people thinking of her body reincarnating and all.  I am actually wasting time trying to figure out life.

Raising Souls|Seeking Ghosts

Since Karen Carpenter was killed from the hospital putting on 30 pounds in too short a period of time and she could have been brought to life on the spot, was looking good, I mean now I dunno.  She wasn't an old lady, died @ 32, no life since.  Her body may be preserved young.

In Another Way

I feel I'm acting nonchalant, like I have my roots somewhere else.

I feel myself a numbness that shouldn't be.  It's the numbness I've become.  Never do I want to redress my life of emotions until I can lay me down in safety.

Never Been Quite So Upset Inside

@ Karen Carpenter not taking a sabbatical but dieting..her killing herself or the fact she is so decidedly and reasonably dead. I'm sure we could summon her likeness.  I dunno, I watched the videos and something hit me by my recycle bin on my desktop.

Mobile

may or may not post

Childish

Karen Carpenter

Draining

Isn't it?

A Lost Soul

Karen Carpenter thought she had to die, too.  Like Jesus?  That used to infest my brain.

Something struck a nerve in me..

..and I dropped the last little bit of my remaining hot dog..  Karen carpenter might not be healthy as in eating enough nutrition and getting plenty of exercise.

Problem

My initial memory of thinking of Karen Carpenter literally with the word mom was thinking of my therapist saying she didn't know the carpenters.. I know something like this has happened.  Things like that don't come up..  :|

I also feel threatened for telling @ it.  I know it's because people are groggily flipping between thinking I'm not perfect and the N word incident.

Supernatural Activity or High Technology

I was walking home and felt a solid object fall down my back.  I don't know if it went down my shirt or disappeaered.  I was thinking of Karen Carpenter.

Does

Ellen like pretending I'm "in trouble?"  Cuz I'm not.  Now.

Mobile

may or may not post

Well

I got called back by several acting places so maybe I will get in 1 this time.

Question

Why do you keep bringing up Ginny @ my daughter?  I thought the real Ginny was different.

I want things how they were!  I can talk.  Don't threaten me, chickens.  Nothing wrong with what I said.

My Body

I want them to kill me and freeze my body for posterity.

Why..

..do people make someone who is Chinese say they are Chinese if they don't act Chinese?..

I also..

..made sure no one cared @ me dying and knew I could regenerate.. you'll find Karen Carpenter doesn't exist!

What I've Taken To

People think since she is not cremated, Karen Carpenter may be alive.  My belief is she never died.

TV

I just watched "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

I liked the football guy from La.  The dancing looked fun.

The Swedish girls were cute.

Ellen makes LA her home..

What do you think of..

..Ellen today?  Wasn't a baby before.  She seems a bit worn and like something's wrong with her.  Maybe, it's the shitty people in the room.  A ha a a.

A Question Keeps Coming Up

I hve to suspect they are playing around with if they do something with if I did something bad or not, and I just get upset am not mean.  Is it right?  Like, changing Twitter if I don't do something right?  I can't seem to think beyond this other than it doesn't matter.

Sick

What do you think of the spirit of thingsin 2003 if yous saw Zoey Deschanel in Elf like the feel that school didn't work out and it's about being counseled and on medication?  Can you admit anything or we won't get anywhere and I'm being threatened, and I don't care whether or not I tell you.. I just am talking @ it.

I got some other calls..

..I'm just concentrating on this, now.

I heard I have to contact the person on the sheet music to record it and pay musicians.  This extra money will let me buy more music.

A Call

I got a call to be an extra in Mordecai which is Disney as an extra with Johnny Depp!  He said hi to me on Twitter.  I will get him a gift and ask for his autograph, maybe a stuffed animal and chocolate and flowers.

O blessed day, what do I have in store herein?

Problem

Ellen, why do we care @ your well-being and you don't care if things are nicely set for me from day to day?  I mean, I didn't do anything to Ginny @ my daughter and I found a charicature of her sitting on my future daughter like she thinks I can't be a mom and now the fact this was brought up does not work for me.  I did see no one trusts her now.  I don't know how I worded it but meant no harm.  I mean, you get annoyed if I get annoyed things aren't set up just right.  I can talk @ something safely if my daughter is involved because otherwise would not work out.  Why is the air thing in my room so funny sounding?  It could hurt me.  It would hurt anyone.  Why don't you do it?

Well

Nite maybe now.. those pills made it so hard to sleep

The Point in the Matter

is Karen fasted several times but really was eating.  I think there's really more to this.

Killing Yourself

If I never went on a haywire fast and diet, I would have been able to sustain functioning in school, but it was that hard history course.  I had huge breakfasts.

So Sad

It seems Karen didn't live the life she wanted, maybe was hard to have an exciting life and focused more on her brother and music and found she liked other good things, too, like living a normal life.

Look at this.

link

I know the Chinese look cute for the same reason anyone with a face and nose like that would.

Skinny

link

You know I know that she isn't bony but isn't nourished enough..  There's a certain way the body sets, and I'd know being Chinese.

Are you afraid to leave me alone? and be nice to me..

Problems

So, Karen Carpenter probably was made to feel really good being born in 1950.  She really took away a beautiful body and person from this world while other people lived on and toiled this earth.

link

I also think that people with older moms or who had moms who were more older than them are mad that I like her, too.

What -do- you do about something when you like it?  I will go and post online and not think that life is reserved for the alive, my dear.. only to find I am too late to life.

What do you think @..

..like my dad not wanting other people to affect me?  I'm certainly not his.  That's not really allowed.  I know he does get involved sometimes.

Question

Why do people joke around about how I'd feel about being picked up?  I said do it to a 15-year-old, then you "won't really do it."

I told you @ a dream that came, but they don't come now.

Also, I was actually wondering @ Ellen is she annoyed @ kids, she has to heave a sigh and then she smiles?

I leave stuff..

..worried someone will chose to break into my house and kill me.. or something.. and hoping younger generations can take what they find from me and fix their life, same with older peoples..

New Videos of Me Singing

on Facebook

link

TV

If I'm up in 3 hours time Imma watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," maybe set an alarm, I'm depressed.

Pestered

Why do you like not saying anything?  Ginny made me uncomfortable @ my nose, and now I think it's coming to its end.  She's not in my life.

TV

"The Ellen DeGeneres Show" was really cool.

I loved the boy dancing on his crutches and doing gymnastics.  His mom cared for him very much, but he got rough and tough.  Good boy, though.

What else was there?  Oh, yes, the nice Irish guy playing Mr. Banks! from Mary Poppins.  I find him very nice in a British way.  A nice thing to notice in them.  They are shyer than Irish Americans.

People are so nervous and traditional, they wanna make sure no one gets away with being untraditional.

Since when did people care @ having finesse to others in delicate situations?

If my dad does something inappropriate that's uncool, I won't do it, too.

IMDb

I wonder if..

I wonder if Ellen knows she's not the only person who's "just human."

Children know which ^adults^ are popular..

So..

..now no one believes in doing something bad to make sure the thoughts don't get worse, like think of a word like shit and then stop thinking.

Did you ever feel no one wants you to reach a state of well-being?

Ew

Boar-like animals think you really want to physically mix with everyone.

Since I know the answer is no I'm gonna be a grump so leave me the hell alone.

Forum Avatar

Forum Posts

Mobile

may or may not post

Well, sorry.

I didn't call Ellen anything outright.  Others, I was mad at my dad, but it was like as I was feeling the pain or something.  I don't do it, now.  It's too bad things ended up this crappy?

Annoying People

They all just want an excuse to be mean.

Why does Ellen DeGeneres keep insisting she's right to be mean to someone?  I didn't do anything, and she hurts me and my feelings if I'm mean.

Problems

Ellen DeGeneres is hands on and cares not for feelings- at times.  I find it rather.. disheartening.. I didn't do anything.  If someone is mean to me, I am mean back sometimes.  I never try to really hurt them.  Oh, yea, she wants me to feel guilty, and she's like oh it's too late - what is?  You made up what it is I do.  You mix the ideas and think I care about giving you guys some crazy contrapted message.

Let me get this straight.

I am pushed to be with Bethenny Frankel a talk show host, and the kids Peyton List doesn't say where in Florida she lived though Bella is shrugging me off.

Sorry

If you want an apology or something, sorry if I said anything that seemed a bit weird.

Race & Parents

Ellen isn't Chinese, so the world accepted her.  My parents seemed inhibited but not me.

Old Bone to Pick With You

I did not believe humans could live up to some robotic expectation of being "perfect" and I have beliefs that you have to curse if you find it funny when other people are on the spot, but I'll try not to lose my temper and take anger pills.

Dream

I don't remember much.  I probably had thoughs in my subconcious @ Karen Carpenter, again.. nothing wrong|funny @ that?  I remember being with my old friend in Florida.  She felt a little stimulated and a little silly.  I was like holding her in front of me, was told to or something.  I know it was like a trip.  There was probably this 1 big thing.  Maybe, it was like The Hobbit.  I don't even remember what I was like.