So..

..there's a point in living.  I thought older people took care of posterity.

Do you think..

..someone nice and famous would be selfish to die or did she suspect something?

I know now he

I know how she died.  Her metabolism was pumped way up with all the food when she was at the hospital.

She could have..

..hid from society.

We can't all just die.  I know she had an excuse.

The End of the 80s Was Marked By

Karen Carpenter  :|

When people don't show..

..you learn to underestimate them.

Update

I starred off 2 songs on my website.  I -really- lost my voice.  I never said I -was- a good singer..  Everyone else says that when I sing.

The funny thing is..

..I -have- always liked singing.  I wanted experience badly. I had to do also gymnastics as a kid for exercise and later on piano to learn music.

Problem

My mom always comes in and stares at me with a sarcastic grin and like cuts in after ideas like she thinks I gave in.  I am not shit!  I am just as cute as someone with a dad 10 years younger.. my mom might be young.

Problem

Ellen wants to ultimately hurt me.

So, what is it now?

Age?  Popularity?

I found..

..my voice sounds too strained.  That means I have no voice.

I only got..

..1 chance to guess how to be good and that chance has fleeted away, though technically I was not bad..

Apparently

You need to be famous for Ellen to think you are worth something..

Should I care @ my parents?

Our relationship.

My dad thinks I'm stupid if I think I don't need to be punished just for walking in the kitchen.

It's bad enough..

..Karen Carpenter died.  How am I supposed to be happy, now?

Problem

What now, did you think @ my little brother, like having a fetish, literally??  Stop telling me everything I say is wrong.  Just forget it!  I'm just talking @ something.  You did something.

If..

..Ellen felt like a kid like me is also another thing.

Problem

Stop acting all iffy as if that's not how it is.  So what if I'm still a kid?  I'm living my lost life from high school and elementary school.  :|  Why don't you just stop being mean to me!

Why..

..doesn't Ellen just get that she's older than these people on her show, these kids or young Hollywood stars?  I mean, she makes fun of people with 1950 dads born in the 1980s.  I didn't say she was my mom but that she was the right age at the time to be 1.  As for with me, I mean I wouldn't ever make fun of a kid for that.  For me it was like 12 and I was old enough to be a mom, though I still was a kid.  So, I dunno, but it just makes sense as a long time ago people were moms at that age.  So, this is just new, and I mean I just find it a joke to say otherwise cuz it'd just make me mad.  I think it would most.  What if Ellen was born in the 1980s?

Funny Things

Why does Ellen try to make me feel guilty @ what other people do?  Stop acting like I'm just a 1950 person.  Ya'll'll pay for this, obviously.  She's old enough to be my mom but instead thinks she's the cool teenager, showing off like I'm stupid and should die.

...

Well, that's mean, and I catch things like that that others do.  She seemed nice, but she just called me a nigger.  I could tell by the way my camera turned off.  How do they code that in?  You think I'm worthless because I don't know how to do something like that?  It's too bad because it's important to know about things like that and they got me upset over its usage and will just use it against me.

...

I dunno, I said what I said and I don't deserve to be punished.  I was upset and some bad words back hit, though they just popped up in my head as I lay down.  I felt so bad when my dad came in and I feel m..

I don't want Ellen to get out that I'm shit because I'm not my dad.  If she were her dad that'd mean something, wouldn't it?  You can't judge who I am by my parents.  I am not fat and I am not gay.  Nothing wrong with being fat, but you think I can't be skinnier because of my dad.  What's with all these twig girls?  You just think my fat is my dad, stop touching me!

Problems

My dad and I were going somewhere, and I got ready.  I just lay on my couch to take a quick nap.  It discouraged me from my excitement @ Karen Carpenter when he came and was like .. hello are we going .. not typical of him to do most times.

I know I got a message from Ellen when my camera turned off.. just to say I'm a nigger.  I just said something @ her that wasn't bad, like that I don't drink.

Now, my head feels empty but groggy.  My mom stopped in, too, after..  I dunnow what's wrong with my dad, he's just a fatboy.  That is to say, everyone is pushing me to him when we've had a reserved relation.  They want it to be like he's Ellen and I'm the fatty.  I dunno, don't think he needs to change and diet too much so that he's just skinny skinny.  I'm just saying, I am a propa woman, and they're like throwing pie in my face over my dad all the time.  He's not really "Fatty."  I feel like I'm up late or something.  I feel like I ate fat today, which I did.  I feel like a picture of my boy sibling.. I don't want it.  It's him like my dad!  No, I don't need my dad to justify my looks.  That's just an insult.  You didn't say something nice.  You just said he was fat now.  Go away.  You wanna "do it" with your own dad like that?  He's not to be in my life!  I had a fine life!  Well, don't be a dummy and think I won't talk to him or something, but he doesn't "have to be the 1."  What if we did this to you?  Ijust don't like it in that way.  I'm not gonna describe what way, but a way you did.

Less Stress

I don't know why that bothered me, but I thought of something.

I thought..

..Ellen admitted that the message meant something..

She is an evil monster.

She acted like she had to be mean to me.  I thought I heard my mom and it broke my singing and it turns out it was the experimenter taking her place, literally.. but Ellen doesn't know.

Sorry to Say

Ellen DeGeneres is an invalid, postpones my feeling good and lags behind.  Ha ha ha.  She'll like this joke.

Edit

Come and Trip It

New Videos of Me Singing

Bottom to Top

O Waly Waly - December 21, 2013
Scarborough Fair - December 21, 2013
Both Sides Now - December 21, 2013
Leaving on a Jet Plane - December 21, 2013
Come and Trip It - December 21, 2013
Gesu Bambino - December 21, 2013
To a Wild Rose - December 21, 2013
Let the Bright Seraphim - December 21, 2013

Question

Is it ever too old to start singing?  I've always sang and have experience and juice used up and lost.  I took a break to get healthy and work on my acting by posting online and making myself more sane but didn't get out enough.

Annoyed

All people wanna know @ is if people get mad at me to chase me away.. eventually just they would remain....

Did it..

Did the divorce inevitably do it?  Or the fact her mom would say something.. I have family like that.. Just ignore it...

The Question Everyone Asks

What was it.. :( What made Karen Carpenter hopeless and anorexic to the point of unavoidable death, some thought crept over her, but what caused it??

Must Have

Her mom must have instilled that.

Does

Karen Carpenter believe kids are bad?

What would..

..the "real" Karen Carpenter say?

Safe to Say

Since my dad is in Karen Carpenter's class and is not too too much younger but my mom's even younger mean I'm safe to say she's a big parental figure??

I never!

I never told Tim Burton he couldn't have a special relationship with his daughter like it was tabboo, but he's mean to me and not you, too.

Is there something you're not telling me?

Note

Dear Richard Carpenter,

Let's get together and do some music.

Trash Kids

Why has it been said kids today are just trash and deserve no affection from anyone in the world, really, we're just trash, our own mistake, and our parents did nothing wrong and neither did anyone else in the world??

I have decided.

Karen Carpenter's death was a selfish act.

New Videos of Me Singing

1 Close to You - December 21, 2013
2 The Power of Love - December 21, 2013

I just found out..

..my generation is @ like Italians, indians.. Karen Carpenter would like younger kids.

I don't think m.. helps.  I don't feel accepted as I go around, like around my dad, feel shy, not dressed, neither cuz I wanna nap and don't have money for nap clothes and wear glasses and have shaved hair.

Well

I guess Karen didn't want to be there for us.  Think @ being too submissive in life, the younger generation.  What if she was mad @ her body?  It seems as though it wasn't hers.  I am actually trying to come in tune with the situation, people thinking of her body reincarnating and all.  I am actually wasting time trying to figure out life.

Raising Souls|Seeking Ghosts

Since Karen Carpenter was killed from the hospital putting on 30 pounds in too short a period of time and she could have been brought to life on the spot, was looking good, I mean now I dunno.  She wasn't an old lady, died @ 32, no life since.  Her body may be preserved young.

In Another Way

I feel I'm acting nonchalant, like I have my roots somewhere else.

I feel myself a numbness that shouldn't be.  It's the numbness I've become.  Never do I want to redress my life of emotions until I can lay me down in safety.

Never Been Quite So Upset Inside

@ Karen Carpenter not taking a sabbatical but dieting..her killing herself or the fact she is so decidedly and reasonably dead. I'm sure we could summon her likeness.  I dunno, I watched the videos and something hit me by my recycle bin on my desktop.

Mobile

may or may not post

Childish

Karen Carpenter

Draining

Isn't it?

A Lost Soul

Karen Carpenter thought she had to die, too.  Like Jesus?  That used to infest my brain.

Something struck a nerve in me..

..and I dropped the last little bit of my remaining hot dog..  Karen carpenter might not be healthy as in eating enough nutrition and getting plenty of exercise.

Problem

My initial memory of thinking of Karen Carpenter literally with the word mom was thinking of my therapist saying she didn't know the carpenters.. I know something like this has happened.  Things like that don't come up..  :|

I also feel threatened for telling @ it.  I know it's because people are groggily flipping between thinking I'm not perfect and the N word incident.

Supernatural Activity or High Technology

I was walking home and felt a solid object fall down my back.  I don't know if it went down my shirt or disappeaered.  I was thinking of Karen Carpenter.